4 ways to Improve Communication in your Relationship

You tied the knot. Now, a few years later, you realize that you are struggling with your communication.

Where do you go from there? Unfortunately, a lot of couples fall into this boat. It can be hard to recognize, but when you do, you definitely need to do something about it so that your marriage does not suffer from it.

Here are a few ways to improve communication in your relationship:

1. Date Your Spouse

Couple enjoying a wine and cheese appetizer - improving communication in your relationship

In my opinion, dating your spouse is essential. So many people go through the dating stage and then end it once their ‘dating period’ is over. Once they tie the knot, they forget that they are still supposed to have fun, get to know their significant other, and date them. Instead of forgetting about it, try to plan a date night once a week, or once every other week – whatever is doable for you. This will help you continue to bond and improve your communication in your relationship.

2. Counseling

Marriage counseling is always extremely beneficial when it comes to learning how to better communicate within your relationship because it allows you to see your points of struggle from another set of eyes.

Marriage or couples counseling can help you solve a specific problem and move forward with more confidence and less anxiety. Or it can completely transform your relationship as a whole.

To find a therapist that is a good fit for you and your significant other, try searching for therapy + location. So, for example, “Therapy Lawrenceville” will bring up Ray of Hope Counseling Services, which is a Georgia-based company providing counseling and therapy services for couples, families, groups, and individuals.

Once you find a company that you are happy with, I highly recommend searching through the therapists to find a good fit for you. For example, if you want help with your relationship, Ray of Hope Counseling Services shows you who is an expert in relationship issues. Here is an example of that:

Communication in your Relationship: Ray of Hope Counseling Services

Lynn Thompson Umstead is the founder and clinical director of Ray of Hope Counseling Services. She is a trained mental health professional, with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and a Master’s of Science degree in Clinical Psychology. Lynn strives to meet clients where they are. She helps the client navigate through their past to help with a better understanding toward how to achieve goals for a happier healthier life. She also has extensive training and experience working with relationship issues and is a Certified Imago Couples Counselor. Her educational training is primarily cognitive-behavioral, which means your thoughts and behaviors will be a focus in the therapy process. However, Lynn is eclectic in her approach in order to meet the individual needs of her clients. She believes exploring your emotions and feelings is of utmost importance.

The ultimate goals of counseling would be to gain self-awareness into what is disturbing you; explore and understand your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors; to seek a greater sense of happiness and contentment; and for you to choose and maintain behavioral changes.

Once you find a company and a therapist, you just need to dive in and book an appointment. Soon, you will be on your way to improving the communication lines within your marriage.

3. Do Activities That Encourage Talking

Couple bike riding while the sky behind them is brightly colored with purple and pink - improving communication in your relationship

The key to communication, of course, is actually communicating. AKA talking!

While talking via text message or email is technically communication, making it a point to talk in person, particularly when you are facing a problem, will help you to work out the problem without saying things you might say via text, but not to your loved one’s face.

So, what kinds of activities encourage and allow ample time for talking?

Really, anything that forces you to be together, without any distracting background activities.

Skip the movies and TV-watching session, and try going for a walk together through a nice park. Maybe try sitting down for dinner together, or even just going on a drive without music playing in the car.

Keep in mind that these ideas don’t have to only be used when you have a problem in your relationship. Talking with your spouse more frequently will improve your overall quality of relationship, as well as make it easier to engage in less desirable conversations when they do arise. 

4. More “I,” Less “You”

No one likes to feel like they are being targeted or accused of something! Using “I” statements rather than “you” statements will take the pressure off your spouse of feeling like you are blaming them for something. This is particularly useful to express how you are feeling about something.

For example, instead of saying “You never help me,” try saying “I feel very overwhelmed when I have to cook dinner by myself.” It gets the same message across, but maintains a calm and collected conversation.

Improving Communication in your Relationship – More Resources

There you have it – a few ways to improve communication in your relationship! There are so many other ways, but these are just a few options. These tips are not only for those people that are married, but also can be used in just about any relationship.

Make sure to read how to take your relationship to the next level and become #relationshipgoals. It goes through 5 life changing ways to maintain your identity while nourishing your relationship.

As always, if you have any questions or concerns or want to add more to this article, leave a comment or send me a message. Your suggestions are always open and welcome!

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(10) Comments

  1. Such good advice! As someone who’s getting married, uh… exactly a year from today (holy crap) this was a nice reminder to keep improving 🙂 and for real, what is this stigma about dating your spouse anyway? (I know, life and family and all that makes sense, but I’m talking more in terms of the attitude.) You should never stop dating, haha!

    1. Jackie Espada says:

      Congrats!! I wish you all the best! I totally agree! Dating your spouse keeps the spice alive and you learn more and more about them with every date! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  2. Ashlee says:

    This is a great post! Thank you for sharing!

    1. Jackie Espada says:

      Thanks for reading and commenting!

  3. Honestly, I have zero experience of dating or being in a relationship, but these tips will surely help me in the future. Thanks for writing a very useful and informative blog post. (:

    1. Jackie Espada says:

      I sure do hope that they help you! Thanks for reading and commenting 💜

  4. Doing activities that encourage talking is huge! There’s so much technology available to us that it’s easy to text our feelings or send an emoji but things can be easily misinterpreted. Talking face to face is great for expressing emotions that can’t otherwise be transmitted via phone.

    Jo |

    1. Jackie Espada says:

      Yes!! I try to put my phone down as soon as I get home so that we can connect and communicate all night long uninterrupted. Thanks for reading and sharing!

  5. Very good read! Communication is super hard because everyone has their own opinion and beliefs. Sometimes looking at yourself through the eyes of others helps to understand what the other person is saying or feeling. Also, listening to understand where the other person is coming from and not listening to respond helps too. Keep up the good job! I am super proud of you!

    1. Jackie Espada says:

      Thank you!! I can totally see where I get my wisdom from! You are speaking the truth!! Love you and thank you for all of your support!

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